The wonderful world of dating

For the last two nights I have been out on dates. What's this? Well, exactly. In the world of friendship and conversation I consider myself very good at flirting, very good at my Woo or getting to know someone and making new friends. Put me in a "date" situation and I am an idiot. I just don't know the rules. Are there really rules anymore? Do you hug someone when you first see them? If they go for a hug do you offer your hand? What's comfortable? What's not? What is the actual time you are supposed to wait and call or wait for a call? Do people who are looking online talk to a lot of people? Is it okay to go on two dates with two different men in two days? What's the point of dating? What are reasons to go on a second date and what aren't? How do you leave things if you aren't interested? If you are? How do you interpret if the other person is or isn't if they don't leave you with what you want to hear? SO many damn questions and so much to think about and I don't want to do it. I really don't want to, but it's also fun.
Last night, I went on an hour and a half booze cruise with my date and another couple. Three reasons it was good, three reasons it could have been better.
1. The couple being there was a nice buffer for a first date.
2. The boat ride was fun.
3. It was a gorgeous night.
1. Because the couple was there my date and I didn't talk all that much.
2. The end of the evening was really weird.
3. Not really attracted to my date.
My date on Tuesday night was great. We already know each other pretty well and so conversation is never dull. We has awesome beer, Blue and Black's at The Curragh, which are so my new favorite beer. It's currant juice and Guiness. YUMMY!!! So, yeah. He was sweet and caring and listened as well as he could as I was inside my head all night not really talkative. See, you probably shouldn't go on a date when you are on your first day of your period or totally engrossed in your thoughts about a conversation that you've been having with your dad for the last 9 years of your life. But, he did well and brought what he knew into my life. That's one of the most wacky things about dating to me. You have to totally get to know someone from scratch. It kind of brings me joy but it also brings up how much I miss Jimmy knowing me. It was pretty easy with him because of our emmeshment issues to just be me. Because he discovered me from the inside out. BUT, I don't hold this to be the way to start or have a relationship. I think discovering people is one of my favorite things. I think I just hate being discovered. It makes me so vunerable. And I am finding out just how much I fear real vunerability.
So, boundaries in dating...what are mine?
Good question to ask yourself.
~I like kissing on the first date, but would rather it be a kiss on the cheek.
~I like dates where you get to see the person with other people. Their friends...socially. You can tell if they are trying to hide then, cause good friends call you out on when you present a false self.
~Dinner and a movie just don't hake it with me. that's for later...
~I am old fashioned...boy should call. And within 3 days.
~Have plans...something to do...and set an end time.
I haven't been on more than 3 dates in my entire life. Real dates, with people I didn't know well. Last nights date makes it 4. I just dunno about this whole thing...can someone out there help me?
The funny part about asking that question is that I know no one knows. Not even those who have sucessfully dated lots. It's a game...it's something you give your all to and set boundaries so that you are held accountable to yourself and your identity and your integrity. Honoring who you are and what you want. This path is one I haven't walked very often. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?????????