woah....14 days

it's so over and official it's crazy. I had my first, hey can I take you out for a beer, conversation yesterday. See my regulars are starting to understand that I won't be here to entertain them with my sillyness or cute conversation. It's sad and horrific all at the same time. I had my going away party with my friends. A couple weeks early but it was the best timing available! I am learning more about me than I ever thought possible by having closing type of conversations. Crazy...yes!
And it's weird to meet new people. People that are blowing your mind daily...but great people at that. What do you do with newer relationships? This "E", this extrovert is having a hard time cause I know come 3 weeks from now, they will have a new waitress on Thursday nights and get to know them as well. That excites me cause I work with some simply AMAZING people, but it also, selfishly makes me wonder. Is it me? Is it really me you like? The answer these days, doesn't really bother me.
I keep having one on ones with those important people. Two in particular that are of importance are my brothers and my mom. Time spent, alone with each of them. Where does this fit in?
Oh boy will I miss being able to stop into mom's whenever. Seriously, in the middle of the night for a place to pee or check my e-mail or sleep cause I want to be near my mom. She's amazing. My mom! I will really miss her So very much. Everyday! I cry already thinking about it.
These are the things that I think are hitting me right at the perfect time. Before, cause I surely know they will come after!
Kirsten and Rocky on Monday nights.
Rob and his bar tricks.
Jeffery. His mug. his humor. his stopping by just to say hi. His always showing up to any of my parties...NO MATTER WHAT. His ability to live outside of himself.
Joshy. Although I don't get to and don't take advantage enough of hanging with my Hose, I will so dearly miss him being close. Family dinners. Goebert dropoffs. Kristen and Josh car time! Singing and dancing like fools! Now, tears fall....
Toby living in the same 10 mile radius. Running into him at bars randomly. Family dinners that he plans. Getting to know my closest sibling as an adult. Seeing him grow up into a man. MORE TEARS.
Driving around Barrington. Down Lake Cook Road. Towards old stomping ground. Old memories come flashing back. Barrington and this last year. It has been such a joy for me. So much growth has happened in this home I want to give it back to Jesus and thank him for everything. Emmett's will be really hard to leave as well. They have been the best job I have ever worked at. My first 1 yr. job! It's nothing special for most, but for me, it's a big deal.
Willow in all of it's SHIT. WOW...what a church. What a gift to me and my life and my ministry and my growth and SOOOOOO many others as well. EVE. Stephy and Steve. Here's to the future and keeping in more than just touch. Christmas cards. Adult living at it's best. Sue Higgins, my mentor. I need to honor her. stop by. Love on her and her family. The Parmans. JILL. Ginger and I had our time! Jay, how is this going to work? Only a few meetings left. Only a few more shifts....and then I'm out of here. The future is so unknown, but from where I stand, there is no fear...only hope!
Tomorrow I get to spend time with my family. One side of my amazing family that is my sister, my brother in law, my bro's, my nephews and Mimi. Singing glory haleuigah! Little by little I weap over what I need to weep over and celebrate what needs celebrating!!!