Lately, I have been listening to this song on the juke box at the bar every night and have thought to myself more than once, I need to post on these lines of this song.
LANDSLIDE~ Stevie Nicks
"Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too
Oh, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down"
It's snowing here in Montana now. The peaks are covered and the decent of the cascade is steep. Soon, we will all wake up to blankets of white! I long to see a newness this winter. To experience the death of things with joy and fervor. Knowing deep within myself that winter is a part of God, seasons are to be celebrated. I anxiously look forward to picking my feet up more, to feeling the frost, to pink cheeks and hot chocolate. To sweaters and mornings where I don't want to get out of bed, but I do, because I'm different. My soul has changed.
This song speaks of my struggle, my love affair with co-dependency.
"I've been afraid of changing, cause I've built my life around you."
How far I've come from the truth of that. How much work the trinity has done on my heart to remind me that I do not need to build my life around someone elses dreams and desires. I was shaken to the core as I thought about how real of a line that is. How many people in a desire to be loved, to love, to bond, have built their lives around others. And then, when they are gone, or when they have moved on, to rebuild one's own life. Or even how you do that in the midst of still having that love in your life. To build your life on something that cannot be shaken, the ROCK. Val this is for you..."So what is the point of this story, What am I trying to say Well is your life built on the rock of Christ Jesus Or a sandy foundation you've managed to lay"
BTR~ Two sets of Jones'
Site: Matthew 7:25, Luke 6:48
"Time makes you bolder, children are getting older, I'm getting older too."
Growing up. Shoot, remember friends. Man oh man. Talk about the seasons of my life like this. David Gerard, I hated you when you would say it. "I don't mean to pull the age card, but..." Time does make you bolder. Growth, growing up, working through and living through the pains of love, the aches if you will, the beauties and the beasts.
I want to write a thank you to my friends for walking through those days, months, years with me. Watching me give it all away for the deep desire to be loved. Thank you for loving me. For as you have loved me, I have learned to love myself. To deeply go after what I want. And this trip here, this strange place where I have chosen to live allows me the freedom to do it. To embrace my struggles, and work through them, pursue my dreams. Finding that the truth is in the swirling goodness of the river. For as the trinity has loved me, I have learned to love myself and am learning to love others.
Today I find myself in a peace that brings so much joy deep within my soul. I am coming around once again, the wheel of life. Here's to songs that sit with us for weeks and make us ponder truth and life and love. Here's to friends along the path. And to quote one more song...here's to "others who broke my heart" and the ones I've broken along this journey. God Bless this broken road that's led me to where I am now standing.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
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2 comments:
Hey,
I've been reading your blog a lot lately, and I like what you have to say. Did you know the Dixie Chicks sing this song, too? Anyway, here's to the briskness of winter, the quickening of your step, the love of God.
that is one of my most favorite songs of all time... so haunting, i think it especially encapuslates the "female" experience with love, growth and change.
Anyway, I love you, and thank you for walking with me through these years of change and growth and regression and forward movement....
you sound very "still". Does that make sense? I hope you stay still for awhile so He can come and sit with you.
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