In through the nose, Out of the mouth...

A continuation of mourning took place in my soul today that is hard.
It's especially hard because it has to do with something I did.
And it ended a relationship. Or at least it seems that way.
I have come to understand in a better way that things are not always just over.
Things come back sometimes. Things end sometimes. FOREVER.
And endings are just as great as beginnings.
I like beginnings. a lot. they are easy.
But as I grow I am learning to love endings because things have to die to live again.
That's what the seasons teach us. That is what Easter teaches us.
New life. Death. They are truely intertwined.
And, I have had to reevaluate my friendships.
Allow them to die.
Be open to them coming back to life.
and it's weird.
it tweeks my soul.
it presses on the thorn in my side.
and it releases me.
It helps me learn,
to love,
more.

I believe very strongly in admitting your wrongs.
To someone. To specific someones if it doesn't cause them harm.
Even if it means losing a relationship.
And so today, I am greatful.
For a Father that loves me because I am human.
For all of my relationships. They have taught me so much.
For a Sheperd who dives into my life with love and a way through or out or in.
For the transitions of life that lead us to the abundancy they offer us.
For her comforting indwelling.
For Lent. A time to give up.
For Fridays. For death.
For Easter and new life.
And for a chance to breathe it all out.

(Exhale)