a poem on a sad day

I am not sure why it tends to take me by surprise
that on days like today I think about him.
But it does.
and I do.
Perhaps it is because we went through so much life
in such a short time.
Perhaps it is because we were so entagled.
And that with every tradegy,
every thrill,
every moment
our lives were weaved closer together.
Perhaps it is because I loved him
with all that I had within me to give.
And I was swept up in everything that was him.

Whatever the reason;
each holding on to it's own perception of truth;
I am
in a very real way,
greatful for those years.

And if I were to be totally honest, I am scared today. SO much is brought to the surface when life changes. What's next? And I tend to be the anaylitical type...what has happened and why. How can I not repeat mistakes made. How does one leave a legacy? This is your life...are you who you want to be? Selfish thoughts creep in to my brain. What will people say about you when you die? Who will show? What life have you touched recently because you are:
called to,
bound to,
I dare say ought to,
asked to,
committed to,
taught to,
begged to:
LOVE as you are LOVED.
In my brain, stuck I am. (thanks Yoda)
and it hurts.
but this pain is a necessary pain.
a pain that does not wound.
and as such the beautiful words were spoken today...
thankfulness will flow.

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August 24, 2007 Grandpa passed into eternity
August 29, 2007 Funeral for Grandpa