They call it blindsidedness

you know when you are sitting there one day, and all of a sudden one thought, one little yet emmense thought comes streaming into your brain and blows your whole idea of where you thought you were going and what you thought you were doing away?
Well. that happened to me about two hours ago.
I'm sitting there having a cigarette outside in the freezing cold, and bam...it hits me. The one thought, and here it is.

Why would you move to California, spend just as much money, and be in debt when you are done only to leave the home you've built, the love of your life, a place you know where you can do the same thing for about the same money?

And there it is.
The question that just didn't seem to find it's way into my brain to complete my thinking process until today. The question that honestly could change my whole choice to move. The question that I have been asking God to deliver to me, if for any reason, there was a reason why I should not go to California. And the funniest part of my day, the most favorite part of this question is the answer. And that my friends is what I have been trying to figure out for the last 2 hours.

so I called my mom. And asked her the question. And she gave some great advice. Add up the financials and compare. So, I did. And guess what folks, it's at least $5000.00 CHEAPER for me to stay here in Montana. And then she said, if they are close, then you can ask your self how much each piece means to you. So, with the finacials done, and the knowledge that at this point I am just giggling about, that it's less for me to stay here, I am in a little bit of shock. At least for the time being.
See, if you know me...and most that read this do...you might laugh too. Because I take myself to serious. I consider myself much better at making decisions than before, but I still overlook things. And I giggle at myself for the awesomeness of God to reveal his love to me through a question.

my overlooking
I got so super excited about the possiblity of school being free in California that I overlooked exactly how much it was going to cost me to live there=rent. To move there=gas and hotel. To eat there=food. To get new plates and license and other random costs=$$$. The cost...obviously not just monitaryily, is so much greater than free school. So, I filled out the forms and called my mom back and tomorrow I register to start cosmetology school here in Kalispell, MT. And I'm not moving to California, any longer.
I love being able to hear from our Great God and know that he is a down to the last minute, better path choosing type of God. thank you for blindsidedness, for ears to hear, friends that pray and moms that listen. Thank you also great God, for your love that astounds me at every turn. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.