flying over my town...seeing the buildings that are all too familiar to me. Hopping on the train, I hear him call it out, the next city's stop. It's where I used to work. Where we played night after aching night. Where I smiled at the faces I saw.
I ride further and spot the rooftop of the house where I used to live. The year spent there was awesome. and Hard. The park where we sat and played. The hills where I discovered power and solitude and yearned to be in the mountains.
And here I am. At mom's. Visiting. This home is not mine. I couldn't remember where the dishes all were. And my heart it aches. I don't know who to call cause calling anyone seems silly.
Reaching out, I pick up the phone and dial the couple of numbers I know by heart. Ring, ring, ring, no answer. Could it be there lives here are so normal that me coming to town doesn't shake them from their routines? That's life.
Depression is not my best suit, but it's where I stand.
Mourning, grieving, spending time letting go.
Maybe it was too soon to come back here. But, I am here.
Grant me the space to be ever present on this part of our Journey.
walk hand in hand with me and remind me that you are there.
I long to feel your touch for I know your presence will give me strength
and peace will find my soul.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
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1 comment:
This is making me very sad. Does it help at all that when you called Saturday night I was too drunk to even know what a telephone was? And that was at like 7pm... completely unplanned, and actually, totally ruinous for my Saturday night and entire Sunday...
Sorry!! [blush]
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