to begin again

 to begin writing again is like an exercise that you used to do often. ok fine, like riding a bike. Because once you learn, it comes back quickly. when you start writing again, with auto assumalator (spelling error on purpose) helping you out, it's interesting. 

So we begin again. because i need a space to place my words. and to see and read the differences that the Lord has truly done in my life over almost 20 years. This blog began Sept. 21, 2004. Wow! I had just turned 26. to even read through some of the things i had written in my other blogs too only 11 years or so ago is shocking. Where my interests were, what was going on in the world. I had to text Katie Pace and ask her if she's watched Garden State in years? There are things on there like Billy Madison that will remain on there forever. Forever type of movies that you adore. Garden State...who knows? I may have to watch it just to see. I think that's a for the time one. 

Any who, I wanted to write today about the amazing presence of Jesus. He is God with us. If you know me I say that a lot but doesn't it make it that much more personal? WITH you. With me. WITH US! And where I am at currently in this journey of life is a place where that means the world to me. Much has happened in my lifetime. And He has been with me in it all. He holds my hand and heart and today He held my face and told me all He was interested in was being with me. That He delights in me. And world, He has messages for you too!  

Yesterday I was talking to my mom about my childhood. About my parents and their journeys to Jesus. My mom is an outstanding woman! She told me about getting baptized in the Holy Spirit. About a Methodist Charismatic conference she and the women from our church went to and she received a deep inner healing. The message He gave her that day was that she could forgive her dad for saying he didn't want her. And she did! She didn't even know that she needed to, but did an inner womb healing where she heard those words and was able to choose forgiveness instead of being marked by that for her life. WOW! 

I met with Marty Meyer two days ago and we got to know one another. We swapped stories and proclaimed the goodness of God in our lives! We extrapolated upon ideas about the church, as is the people of God, church as in what people have chosen as church, and what could be. What would it look like to not hinder the Holy Spirit but always be led by it? Would it look like chaos to some? Would it be comforting? What did it look like back in the day? I consider Acts 2: Tongues of fire! 

"What the WHAT?"
As my friendly neighborhood pastor Kevin Geer likes to say.

It doesn't look normal. 
Joanna said yesterday at small group things like Fire Tunnels, miracles, heavenly laughter, craziness.  
Bree said I hear so many people longing for things like this. 
I said, yes...I just want to see it not just blessing this group but bleeding into our lives so that the kingdom here on earth can experience Jesus. They can know. Is it that engrained in me evangelist? YES. and it's about the love I know. The greatest love ever spilling over into my life. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. You. not just me...you my Christian or if you aren't comfortable sitting in that category any longer, people who love Jesus. let's not get me started on the absence of labels.

following Jesus. loving Jesus. it doesn't look normal. because it's driven from love. one of the hardest parts about reading over this blog today was the presence of someone that is no longer in my life at all. Grief. Another topic for another day.